Messages about You and Your Body
Healthy bodies come in all different shapes and sizes
I was listening to a talk radio show this morning where the discussion was about mother’s effect on their children’s body image and development of eating disorders… this got me thinking. What are some of the ways in which parents can influence our thoughts and feelings about ourselves? I remember when I was younger my dad used to ALWAYS pinch the sides on my waist and tell me I was getting chubby. Those of you who know me might find that hard to believe, and so did I being that I’ve pretty much been skinny my entire life. See even that, I wrote “pretty much” and was about to delete it but the reality is I have always been thin. So anyway, regardless if I didn’t believe him or not I somehow developed somewhat of an eating disorder years later. I was always really concerned about how I looked and never wanted to gain weight while not doing much about how I ate or how active I was. I’m not saying it’s his fault or anything, but I would be pretty ignorant to say that it had absolutely nothing to do with how I felt about my body. Luckily nowdays I would never think about resorting to unhealthy ways of losing weight. I work hard today in my sport and as a result, my body transformed to what I always wanted it to be…. the best part is it came without the added stress or shame and got replaced by confidence and energy.
How many of you can relate to that? Some comments people make just stick with us, whether they were meant to be helpful or not. For example, this girl on the show was talking about how she still remembers after losing some weight being approached by a friend who told her she looked “spectacular”. Even though this was supposed to be a compliment, it made her feel like when she was heavier she was just “average”, and she hated being average, she wanted to look spectacular all the time! So what kind of messages do we send to ourselves and others when we think about ideal bodies and even when helping people to lose weight in the gym? I try my best not to talk about pounds on the scale but I never realized how simply telling someone they look great because they’ve lost weight can be somewhat negative. So how do we change this?
First, if you have kids it’s really important to watch what you say and how you act around them. Avoiding talking about your own negative thoughts about your body in front of them and be a positive role model. Focus on healthy food and staying active and that will promote positive behaviors and feelings in your children. Next, I think with training the focus needs to be completely different. We focus on health here and to be honest, some people are at a very unhealthy weight. We want them to be in a healthy range, so we take body fat measurements and encourage nutritional changes rather than dieting. We talk about how nutrition relates to performance, health and well-being rather than getting you thin. It’s hard sometimes, because a lot of people come in here with a “goal weight”… a number in mind that doesn’t even make sense sometimes! You need to change your perspective…
CrossFit Beauty in Strength
The best way to do this I think is to separate from people who make you feel bad about yourself and your body. Whether it’s a boyfriend, friend or family member, speak up and defend your efforts to be healthy. Tell people to stop focusing on you and how you look and start supporting how you feel and how healthy you are. If you are in a relationship with someone who puts you down, ditch them! You don’t need that. Surround yourself with good people and you will start to feel good. CrossFit is a great community. It’s not like the gym where you go in and wait in line for a machine after some person you don’t even know. You make connections and friendships here that will support you in your efforts to become a better, stronger, healthier person.
So next time you start feeling down about how you look, take a minute to think about where these feelings are coming from and who in your life might be contributing to these negative feelings. Then get your head right and speak up! You deserve to feel good about yourself!
Monik
